Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Is God trying to tell me something?

Hey

Just a quick post.

I'm getting an old friend smsing me a lot about Jesus and Judgement and stuff, Im getting posts by anonymous on my blogs with regards to religion, there are other small little signs that keep popping up in my face encorouging me to turn back to God.

Or is it the fact that we tend to build ourselves up and choose what we want to see, maybe even what we want to believe. I believe that I am a rational guy and that I always look and judge fairly in my decisions, wether it be between people, or what I believe.

This is my problem. Why do people always have to use the fear of hell as a weapon. I will be honest, a place like hell scares me to death (ahem) but I do not really know how to change that.

If I am to convert to Christ due to the fact I am going to hell, why would he accept me anyway? I am not coming to him out of love , but out of fear. In a selfish way I am using his salvation. I am using salvation for my own means, to escape hell.

Kevin Parry wrote a good post on the topic of hell a few weeks ago which is definatly a good read. It seems like hell is always a last resort for christians. In the real world, fear is always the final option in manipulating people to do what you want. To get people to stop murdering or raping, goverments will instill the death penalty. When christians cannot people to follow Christ out of love, they will then use fear (such as hell) to get them to come to God.

Unfortunatly all this ever does is create a temporary christian. When emotions and hype has run out, they are left with who they really are, and fall away. How many times on youth camps or christian festivals and youth rally's have you seen this happen. It was always mind boggling. Within two weeks christians fell back into their normal routine and started to doubt God again. People would come back from camps, ready to preach to the world, and abstain from any relationships unless it would be someone they would marry. Within two weeks this all changes .

I have given up trying to disprove God. I believe he exists. Wether it is indoctrination or God's spirit, I dont know. I just know I cannot seem to give up on it. I have not become christian, but I am trying to find the road again I guess. I have been praying for truth, yet nothing much has happened. Will just have to see what happens.

A big fear that has crept over me is the whole issue of how short life is and how death is constantly breathing down our necks. This has been haunting me for a while. Not that I will die tomorrow, but rather I have thought about how short life really is . I have now lived about 1/4 of my life(I am 22). One day, I will maybe be 80 years old. I am scared of that. I am scared because I will look back and wonder where it all went. My school years have evaporated into thin air. My friends that I have now would probably no longer exist. I would drive past houses and shopping centers of where I used to drive around when I was this age. I would look at where I used to work. Maybe I would look back at this website and wonder "what happened".

It is scaring me about how short life is, and as much as I am enjoying it now, I see that I will still want to live, even when I am old. What scares me aswell is what might await on the other side of death. Both options scare me equally. The thought of waking up to hell, or never waking up at all. It seems all too much a waste to rot into nothing with the brains that we have. This concious that I hold. These thoughts, memories and ideas. It seems so unreal that this is all nothing end of the day. What ever we are building up to, wherever humankind, or existance is going, is all nothing!

This wrestles with my brain. I think it is time to go to bed, will pick it up another day!

Goodnight

13 comments:

Claire Fouche said...

So you reckon that most christians follow Christ because of the outcomes and consequences of hell? I understannd where you coming from because many times in my life have i felt that my understanding and love for God was based on this, until i was proven wrong. We often get carried away in lifes current and often, very often i've let go. Now i dont mean let go as in stop praying and everything, but rather let go in a sense that i gave up hope and i didnt seem to understand anything anymore, including God's character. What kept making me go back? To this day, i will not say that it is my fear of hell or any consequences of 'sinful' living. I will not even say that it's the goosebumps that travel through your body when you sing a worship song or say a prayer. There's been times in my life where i had to exclude these factors and 'strip' down my religion. How did i do this? I questioned often and often did i doubt and even curse God. I even made agreements and promises to myself to walk away. No matter how often i tried to do this, i failed. Why? It's as if i had this burning desire to want Him back everytime. And every time i wanted Him back more and more. It was like i couldn't escape it. I honestly felt like it was a craving, a hunger for something. Often had i tried to force this issue out of my mind and pretend it was just a crying for something else, but you know what made it different- was the feeling of contentment, the feeling of being alive and the feeling of happiness. Take away the worship cd's the prayers and every revealed or hidden character you know about God and you'll still feel a desire to hold onto Him. Why? because you find a sense of peace at this point. Now i know that you'l respond by saying that this hunger is driven by our human nature to desire a supernatural being greater than us. But i know you now and i knew you back when you were standing on the pulpits, preaching to the homeless- it was real and you did believe. You felt a sense of peace that nobody else or nothing else on this world may provide you with.That is why you are still questioning. It's that sense of security you felt at the time. I've seen you drunk in the spirit and you cannot deny that that wasn't real. Ok, so you want to eliminate the the physical sensations of being drunk in the spirit. Take that away, and you're still left with the same desire for something. Have you found what you've beenn looking for yet since you've turned from God? Can you say that you've answered more questions now? are you happier now or are you still hungry? I know you feel it, but you just deny it and brush it off. Thats what i did. I know the pictures you have of this 'religion'. Standing in the churches, the judgments you went through, the 'christian' character and what is 'correct' The happy christain people. But i believe that you see God as being more than this. You always have seen God as being more real than anything.You know there's a God. I believe you even see him to be more real than some 'christains' and that is exactly why you fear hell. Because you see the real God. But yet you fail or rather tend to brush off and deny the love you have for Him inside of you. Search deep cause i know you'l find it.

Kevin Cadman said...

Claire, you make an illogical link between emotion and religion.

Any religion should survive devoid of any sort of emotional influence. The 'goosebumps' you feel are in no way indicative of something 'more' or a higher power. Every Muslim, Hindu and Buddhist feels that too, that doesn't make their religion true!

Fearing Hell? Pffft. What hell? The Bible doesn't even know what hell is! There are so many conflicting stories and so much missing information it's surprising that anyone still believes that. How do you imagine hell to be?

All the cool people will be there anyway ;)

See for me, becoming an atheist gave me a new lease on life. I no longer see this life as a temporary 'training ground' whereby I'll simply live for something greater to come in the 'after-life'; this is the only life I've got and I'm going to live it. I'm going to enjoy everything I do so when I'm about to die I can go "Shit, I had a good time."

I don't want to be saying "Wow my life was crap, I'm so glad I have an afterlife."

It's all about existentialism really.

God bless :P

Anonymous said...

Kevin,

"I'm so glad I have an afterlife"

Boy, you must have been a morbid Christian. Not only do the children of God hold the only true joyful experience of this biological life, but we too will be the only ones enjoying His eternal presence. In no way do I count this life as unpleasant - I have learned in all things to be content. You may never see your new car rust to pieces - but it will someday. Hopefully you can reflect on the temporal contentment it gives you, and realise how superfluous your goosebumps were when you first got it.

God loves you, Kevin. He will satisfy, as Claire points out, where the physical things of your life will fail you. You are merely temporarily blinded - your youth has you by the throat. But my God can give you true and abundant life. Just don't waste your biological life for too long trusting in the temporal. When it fails, Jesus will still be knocking at the door of your heart, wanting to embrace you and share His life with you. You just have to hope you aren't dead by then.

Anonymous said...

I feel like God is trying to tell me something or trying to reach me. I notice that it says i have a voicemail but EVERY time i check it the voicemail says that there are none. I think God is trying to reach me through my cell phone.

Anonymous said...

I gave my life to jesus around 3 yrs ago when i was 16, i was healed mentally and phys, been drunk in the holy spirit,, the whole package of bein a christian. at the end of 2008 i was baptised, i was in the choir, youth leader, went to group meetings and helping out alot.. but then nothing, just completly stopped everything, im not sure why because i fully believe with all my heart and miss going to church even just talkig to god... since the end of last yr my life has turned up side down, stated drinking alot, havent worked in the past 6 mnths as i keep getting fired for not turning up, i have definatly been suffering from depression, i havent seen my parents in a yr, have been really struggling with money but some how have survived (its amazing really!)
iv been getting really bad lately, drinking 5 nights a week, smoking weed and taking pills.. anything to feel better, now i have just found out that i am pregnent at 19, i am very confused and worried if i abort i may go to hell 4 killing a fetus.....?

Dirk said...

It's really quite simple/ GOD..., Let's just say Mr. Creator of all things loves all of us implicitly. We have no more shame for doing stupid things if we come back into HIS family. Our Father doesn't care so much that we screw up, but more that we learn our spiritual lesson. Dr. Larry Crabb refers to this in his wonderful bok, "Connecting" as ineffective spiritual living. There are instructions for learning how to live an effective spiritual life, but the translations are truly lacking. But truth prevails if you are a true seeker. Love is the key. Love without expecting return. Can you take that extreme leap of faith? If you do, you won't be disappointed...

Anonymous said...

God... what a subject. He is to you something different than he is to me, generally speaking. He is to one, a tool used to the means of control, take Jim Jones. He is to another a tool used to the means of freedom, take Martin Luther King Jr. He is to Anonymous #3 a rest stop on an emotional roller coaster (hope you find peace). He is to Anonymous #1 a justification to relieve yourself of the pressure that comes with the emotional investment of yourself into material possessions (good way to be). He is to Anonymous #2 a total enigma or a joke(sorry bubba).
He is to me a scientific anomaly. The complexity of all physical things astounds me to the point that I cannot possibly disclude a creator and / or facilitator. There are too many factors that make our being possible to be an accident. The weights of all of the elements and how carbon is perfectly balanced between Hydrogen and Plutonium. The trade of Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide between plants and animals. The cooperation between protons and electrons that by their construction should not interact with each other in any kind of controlled manner. The Earth’s distance from the sun to make an ideal gravitational pull and temperature. The weather, the water cycle, the tectonic plates, all of these play a role in our ability to come into being, procreate and survive. It is a giant ecosystem that is so perfect, with so many factors that couldn’t be recreated in a laboratory with millions of years of technological advancement. Furthermore, the fact that food tastes good, it could taste like gerbil food and we would still have the instinct to eat it, procreation could feel like a scrubbing with steel wool, but we would still have the instinct to do it. With all of that, I find it impossible to believe that this life is a big banging accident.
Then you have the emotional factor, the goosebumps mentioned as well as the depression. The struggle that most people face, be it medical, financial, family issues, all of which I have, to quote the bible, ‘more than I can bear’ sometimes. Lately I have been coming to the perception that God is a dickhead. Why make food taste so good and label one a Glutton. Why make sex so good and label one an adulterate. Why create us to face any hardship, pain or any other negative life experience, even the type that are completely unimportant to everyone except for the one who is experiencing it, just to prove the point to the ‘vessel’ that the ‘potter’ is right. I question His judgment all the time, why would we be hardwired to feel good in a situation that the programmer does not approve of. Yet he requires us to work, hard, for what is nothing compared to the things He is able to create. He allows us to get into impossible situations, be them our bad decisions or a set of circumstances that are out of our control.
I must admit, I am in a bad way and blogging here to complain about my own problems. I was in a very contented mindset as a younger man, even with the realities that a younger man will face. I was able to provide for my mother a car and most of her rent by the time I was 16 years old. I didn’t mind. I can relate with anyone, good or bad. Now I have no ability to earn because of my back. I am trying to pay the bills and learn a new trade at the same time, web design, graphic design, and most recently internet marketing. With a wife that doesn’t love me or my kids, a full time crap job, and an education provided by the internet, all at a perfect economic time to financially crush anyone who didn’t go to college (I know, I know… I had a good living and didn’t think I’d ever need it) I’m just sharing my thoughts as are the rest of you, I just Googled ‘God tell me something’ and this is where I wound up. The bottom line is, I feel like I’m at the end of my rope and God is above me, just watching, maybe laughing. If anyone want’s to just talk, I could really use someone to talk to, how pathetic is that. Websearcher78@yahoo.com dickbots need not bother, I won’t reply.

Anonymous said...

Dear Brethren,

I understand that each one of you are going through trials..but why are you blaming Christ for it..?

Have you ever claimed his promises? If you say yes, you wouldn't have been in the situation you are in right now. And if you say NO, what are you complaining for?

My humble request to your'l is please do not mislead anyone, or confuse anyone with the thoughts you have. Because you will be accountable for every soul that goes away from him presence due to anything that you said. So please visit the nearest church ask the pastor to clarify your doubts.

And you know what " Jesus Loves you all, because he came to this world to save the unsaved and the lost. He died for us while we were still sinners"

It is because of the sin within us that we fall short of the glory of god. God doesn't put us away but we refuse to hear him, as we get attracted to the other noise' in our lives.

Kevin....I am saying this to you very specifically, god is telling me to tell you that he is who he is. He is the lord almighty.

Do not declare yourself as an atheist..as he who chose you will grab you. And very soon he will manifest his glory in your life.

___________xxxxxxxx________________Father god, I thank you for leading me to this blog, among this brethren. They are truly seeking your presence in their life lord.

They are lost oh lord, and I believe that you have chosen them to be your mighty warriors.Which is why I declare love, peace and joy in their lives. I declare that there may be no poverty, and I break the bondage of every curse in their lives in the mighty name of your son Jesus christ. I release your abundant blessings upon them.

May the truth manifest itself and set them free.

And all the children of GOD will say .................AMEN.

Note: Declare and claim these blessings shout Amen. ( Glory to GOD)

Chris said...

Wow. You people are really wrestling with this issue. The solution must be simple enough for all humans to understand because there is no partiality with God. People denounce Christ for many reasons, but none of them follow any reason or logic. Christ is the way, as in the way to the Father (who is light and has no form - He's not human). And only way of living. He's the truth. Meaning that Christ Jesus is the platform and foundation of all that is true. Yes, there are many absolute truths that us evil humans would and do count as foolish. But Christ is the truth. He is literally the truth. When you die your destination will mainly depend on how well you've navigated certain issues, mainly the search for truth. Did you really try or did you half-ass it?

Finally Christ is life. Literally, life was given to Him by His Father. And by His Father I mean the almighty creator Yahweh. In the spiritual world it is much more real than what we perceive to be as life while here on earth. Usually caught up in its materialization.

Christ will redeem you, because you, and me, and everyone else on this demon possessed planet, are a wretched and vile person. If you want to be real about it. We've had really bad things happen to us as kids and throughout life that our hearts have been hardened and we've turned to hate and anger rather than love and peace.

The truth is simple. And its right there, you just don't understand. So you can't see it. Or you can't hear it. But its right there. It all depends on how bad do you really want it? Put the pride aside and be humble. Quite the task, but its worth it.

Thank God that He is faithful. He is light and in Him there is no darkness. For what fellowship can light have with darkness? Thank you God and thank you Lord for forgiving all of us who have turned our backs on you. LORD! Please redeem us and reveal yourself to us. Thank you, Lord.

Anonymous said...

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only son. For who shall ever believe in Him, will not perish, but will have everlasting life.
John 3:16.

To sacrifice your own son, your own blood, to show how much he loves you and everybody on this planet, is quite something.
God loves you. He wants love too, but he will let you choose. He hopes you will choose Him, and will allow you to choose how you live your life and still love you unconditionally. He never gives up on you, and is gently nudging you towards His truth. Ultimately the choice is yours, but God would love love love it if you would join Him. What have you got to lose if you join Him? Life on earth can still be great. Keep praying. Keep going! I have struggled with doubts about God and faith and life too, but I kept praying and praying, and have felt more secure being with God now than ever before. I don't want to imagine life without Him. I have felt extremely lonely at times, But in those times I have prayed to God and it makes my day so much better knowing that I am not alone. God is still there. He is ALWAYS. He loves you. Is that not enough? What is greater than love?

Dirk said...

Judgement? Concemnation..., using God as a tool? Where are you getting this stuff. Our Father loves us unconditionally. John 3:16 is such a wonderful passage, but should never be seperated by the English period (.) as the Greek language of the Scriptures had no such delineations. John 3:17 completes the passage and should never be set apart from it. "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him."
Romans 8:1, "Therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" and 2nd Corinthians 5:19, "God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them."
He doesn't condemn nor count our sins in Christ because Adam nor Eve were at fault when decieved by the "serpent" (the great red dragon of Revelation 12). And man's sin nature is not man's fault either Read Romans 7th chapter and finish it off with Romans 8:20, "For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it." Adam was a part of creation, therefore the frustration was not of his choice. It was the will of the One...

Anonymous said...

You are right about people falling away from Christ after being so on fire. Katy Perry, for example, grew up in a strictly christian family and was not allowed to listen to "secular" music. She even released a gospel album when she was a teenager. Now she is singing songs about 'kissing a girl and liking it' and 'wanting to see your "peacock". She does weird sexual things at her concerts and in one of her music vidoes she poses naked. She has a tattoo of the word "Jesus" on her wrist, but she is doing alot of sinful things that I am sure she wouldn't even think of doing before she became what she is now. She explains her life by saying she "sold her soul to the devil".

Anonymous said...

truth seekers.. chris, clair, mark, dirk, others, may you all sleep well tonight. know your openess to the almighty, creative, powerful, more then intelligent force of the universe. theres not enough words to describe it. theres not enough pages in books to talk about everything going on right now.

religions can get bad reps but it should in common sense be just truth seekers coming together for the greater good. but no it cant be that easy (how frustrating) evil is prevalent EVEN within these communities. but how can this contaminate peoples thoughts of god tho? wouldnt we hold on to goodness? some do choose evil. athiests believe religion scares people into believing. while we are scared to believe or we blame god for the the things we consider imperfect.

humans have been battling our thoughts and eachother for thousands of years. if we could keep anything simple.. the miracle of our brains. wed be bored if everything wasnt so complex. awe its all for us! like a puzzle we get little bits and peices. sometimes we loose a peice or someone steals a peice. its hard when you cant see the big picture. the toltec wisdom collection took me a while to get into but so good i read them and im here. others words help us figure out our world and i feel so full.. youve given me peices to my puzzle. enjoy yours too, its no ordinary puzzle ;)